Party of One

from Hikikomori by IDES

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lyrics

Grist for the mill
Food for the worms
we all end up in the same sized hole
Churning, burning, a calorific gyre
The start and end of eternal downward spiral

Body is a burden for a tired soul
Collecting cobwebs and dust
Leave me to the spiders, leave me to the dirt
Let them take me back and show me my worth

I’ll let this room become as big as my world
Count the spider’s legs to pass the time
And pluck them off when I need to feel alive
Do they feel pain? Can I feel it too?
What’s left to feel when there’s nothing left to do?

Bottles of piss, puddles of cum
Clippings and kipple and bile and blood
The things that prove I can still create, I am still real

I’ll let this room become as big as my world
Where I'll give names to the shadows passing by
And let these walls embrace me tight
Draw the shades, and lock my door
Learn to live without the light

The bones have reversed themselves
The spider is alive again
It's four legs down but it will crawl
Until you've managed to pluck them all

Pluck em all

credits

from Hikikomori, released March 15, 2020
(some themes heavily borrowed from Philip K. Dick)

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IDES New Jersey

I'M NOT HAVING FUN ANYMORE

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